Aug 25 2008
Say It With Quotes
Which of the following two statements is more readable?
- Mayor Bills said it was too late to put a halt to the downtown renovation project, even though the majority of the city’s citizens have expressed their desire to leave the downtown the way it is. He explained that the plans have been completed, the funds have been allocated and the contracts have been signed. For these reasons, he believes the city must push ahead with the project.
- “There’s absolutely no way we can stop the downtown renovation project now,” said Mayor Bills. “I know most people here want to keep things the way they are, but we’re too far down the road with the project to turn back. The plans are finished. The money’s been set aside and we’ve signed all the contracts. We have no choice. We have to push ahead!”
If you think the second paragraph is easier to read and more interesting than the first, you’re in good company. But why? The same basic messages were conveyed in both.
The difference is the quote.
Quotes liven things up – especially when you’re writing a report, press release or other project that requires a formal writing style. By letting others say it for you in quotes, you can break away from the stiff style the format demands without getting your hands slapped.
Also, it’s often easier to convey information and especially feelings with quotes than with straight writing.
One word of caution: Be very careful not to misrepresent people by “doctoring” their quotes. At the same time, it is very common to clean up quoted statements for the written page. People typically ramble around, stumble and take dead ends when they talk. Keep the meaning, but don’t repeat those meanderings verbatim. The following quote would embarrass the source and bog down your written piece:
“Well, I think … ah … there’s really … absolutely no way – no way at all – to … umm … stop the downtown renovation project now, you know,” said Mayor Bills. “I mean, I know most people here want to … well … want to sort of keep things the way they are, you know …”
You get the point. Use quotes, but use them intelligently. Clean them up when appropriate, but never change the intended meaning.
I think there might be another more important reason for the appeal of your #2 example.
If I look at #1 it is composed of 2 big sentences. The #2 example has 6 sentences that finish up with 4 punchy, easy-to-read simple sentence. All together that offer meaning and movement that is more enjoyable that plodding through you’re #1 example.
Cheers. Love your site.
Quotes add credibility to statements. Someone is speaking them, potentially ready to stand behind them with various levels of commitment, even if they’re “cleaned up.”
Sometimes, I get comments back about my articles and press releases that they wish they “talked that good.”
p.s. awesome site.
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