Jul 23 2008
Write Yourself Well
A woman who recently lost her husband in a car accident takes pen in hand and begins writing. She writes for hours without stopping. She writes the following day and the day after that. She screams her pain and outrage onto the paper. She transubstantiates her tears into ink and weeps them onto page after page of her journal. Soon the journal becomes a refuge where she is visited by increasingly long and deep moments of peace.
A 16-year-old boy feels unloved by parents and friends. He finds a notebook and starts slashing his anger and loneliness onto its pages. He exhausts himself with the white-hot energy of his writing and from those moments of weariness he sees his life and relationships more clearly and begins to heal.
An executive at the top of his corporate game realizes he has spent his life fighting his way to the top of a pile of refuse. Deadened by the weight of what he feels is a misspent life, he carves an hour a day out of his schedule to record his thoughts and feelings into a journal. His words and phrases paint a canvas of deep disappointment and depression. But soon something more emerges in them – a road map to what could be a new and meaningful life.
Writing is therapy. Socrates claimed that the unexamined life is not worth living. Taking the time to honestly document your soul on paper is a powerful form of self-examination. It heals. It guides. It calms. It helps make life worth living.
I know this is true. Every day – sometimes several times a day – I take a pen and notebook and simply write. I always use a specific type of pen and a Moleskine notebook because they enhance the experience. I get in a quiet place to write, but if I can’t, I quiet my mind before I begin. This is not difficult. The act of writing forces me to slow down, concentrate, focus and center myself – whether I’m on a mountain peak or in an airport.
What do I write? Whatever I want to write. Whatever my soul tells me to write. I write thoughts and ideas. I jot down what I’ve done that day. I like that because it forces me to analyze how I spend myself and on what. Beyond that, I sometimes ask myself questions. Like what is bothering me and what I should do about it. Or what I’m grateful for. Or what I can do for the people I love. And so on.
Do I write in my journal every day? You bet. When I committed to making daily journal entries, I thought it would be difficult and require serious discipline to pull off. After doing it for a while it became as easy as breathing. I now feel I would suffocate if I didn’t do it. In short, I don’t do it because I should – I do it because I love doing it. It has become a non-negotiable part of my life.
There is power, healing and guidance in writing. Reflective writing has become my therapist and counselor of choice, and I know I am not alone in this. I believe we humans are enough alike that everyone can reap the same benefits.
Including you.
Great post!!!
Thank you very much.
I AM a therapist and counselor, and one prescription I give is for people to write. Every day I grab my moleskine and record my emotions, ideas, and perceptions on
what is going on. Isn’t moleskine expensive? The investment reminds me that the process is worth it. I prize this “therapy,” and I prize the journal.
Fun post, thanks!
Very nice. It was like reading my own mind in English, instead of Portuguese.
Jef, thanks for your comment. I’m glad to hear that, as a professional, you’re helping your patients tap into the power of writing. Yes, Moleskines are expensive as compared to some other notebooks, but as you point out, are well worth the cost. It seems like the pocket size is around $12 and the larger size in the $15 or $16 range.
Yes writing can be consoling. I am a Vietnam veteran and I used
writing to get me through many rough spots in my life. Writing about
the nightmares helped me make it through the night.
I appreciate your inspiring post about journaling. I’ve been doing it for years and find it an invigorating outlet for my thoughts and emotions. Sometimes, it’s difficult to open up on paper and let the words flow, but once I let go and begin writing, I get in the groove. It’s always heartening to hear of others who share the same experience. Thank you.
It’s so important to have find the one book you are completely comfortable with. I love the ‘grand voyage’ of Semikolon (a little shorter than a large moleskine, but thicker and about $22 a piece, which I buy whenever I am in Germany (my Canadian-Norwegian grandparents live there). There are available in different colours, I just take what I like. I’ve tried other notebooks with fancier deco, but I just can’t make myself comfortable with them, I just can’t blur my mind on it like that. Plus my fav overs me a world map on which I highlight all the travles each individual book has made with me. So sometimes it basically stays blank, sometimes the are lines flying all across that map. I can’t tell why I like that, but I truly believe that feeling comfortable with your choice of journal is utmost important!
Jef - thanks for this post. The habit of writing has been an important part of my day for the past 5 years. It’s invaluable for processing the craziness of kids, work, life…. Great post!
Steve - you might want to check out places like “Bargain Books” or other discount book retailers. I found pocket size Moleskines of all styles for $3.99, as well as the medium size Cahier packs for $5.00… You can find the bargains out there. I usually purchase as many as I can afford at the time and keep them stocked away.
One thing that resonated with me is when you said, “In short, I don’t do it because I should – I do it because I love doing it. It has become a non-negotiable part of my life.”
At the moment, I am trying to get on terms with this notion. I know I want to write, however, I believe that normally anything I scribble down is because I feel I should.
I can appreciate the fact that at some point, this will become easier and that I’ll no longer worry about “should”, (because I will already be doing it).
I feel like enjoying and experiencing that it is worth more than reading.It is a guide to encourage people to self-heal,to ask them to talk to themselves and healing so naturally.Its refreshing to read it.
Great post. I definitely recognize this from my own life. When I first moved from Denmark to the US, I suffered a lot from homesickness the first year and a half. During that time, clearing my head through writing was a huge help. It still is, though the homesickness is more or less gone now. Besides self-therapy, notebooks are fantastic for mulling over any project or growing new ideas.
[...] The Writers Bag: Write Yourself Well [...]
I’ve kept a journal since 1964, with gaps. In the beginning, longhand; then computer love intervened — thousands and thousands of pages set down electronically; then vacillation between computer and longhand, and finally longhand alone. I have reservations about longhand as there is no backup unless one photographs or scans each page and saves it electronically; feasible but not altogether fun. But I love fountain pens and writing longhand usually in bound books that I make myself, and that preference has won.
There’s an advantage to journal writing not mentioned in this excellent article.
As a result of many electroconvulsive therapy sessions for severe, hospitalizing depression in 1973, I have amnesia for several years of my own life. The memory has never returned. Luckily for me, I was able to re-read my journals from the “missing” period and re-learn what I’d been doing, whom I knew, where I was. It was often like reading another person’s life. Sometimes a flash of memory would happen along with the reading, but mostly it was just a learning process.
Though it’s unlikely for anybody to experience retrograde amnesia, I can assure anyone reading this that a journal can be a lifesaver in terms of reorganizing personal experience. And as some of the great diarists of the past have done, writing down even the most trivial details (price paid for coffee, “I did a load of laundry,” etc.) may turn out to seem unexpectedly significant some day.
That’s assuming you re-read your journal, of course.
Great post Steve. Do you have any recommendations for books about journaling ? The examples you give are very inspiring. Are they from a journaling book ?
What bag do you use to carry your journals ? Do you have any favorites ? I’m looking for something that is not made for carrying laptops. I’m looking for something spacious to carry only books, journals, lots of pens.
yes. writing IS therapy. yes it is consoling. a great post….i enjoyed it!…
Appreciate the article. Writing has become a daily routine in my life and hope it will stay. I do recognize the calming and healing effect as well trying to dig through unploughed soil of thoughts. I’ve had a lot of changes in my life the last 4 years, not dramatic ones fortunately but changes with lots of impact that effect my future. Next to that there’s many questions about life, humanity, earth, responsibility that I try to figure out via writing about it. I use various types of journals/notebooks, moleskines and recently I found a very nice one KW (www.kwdegree.com) in combination with mostly fountain pens.
Merwan, there are numerous books about journaling out there. I have read parts of many of them. I can’t remember the names of them, however. You’ll find them at the library or online. Just do a search. The examples I used in my post were not from the books. As for bags, I carry my pocket Moleskine in my pocket. (I often wear pants or shorts with cargo pockets, which makes this easier.) For larger bags, my suggestion would be to go to a photo shop and look through their selection of camera bags, or to a travel goods shop and check out their over-the-shoulder bags. LowePro and Eagle Creek are two excellent brands for bags. Good luck.
Steve, once again, thank you for a very interesting post.
Writing in my Moleskine journal has been the only consistent way I have for examining what it all means. The “it” is nothing philosophical, “it” is just what happened today.
When I do this, I am constantly amazed at how many “little” things happened _today_ that would have been consigned to the “Forgotten” bin of my brain, but which were not so “little” and actually quite significant. When I re-read what I have written on any given day, I typically have this feeling of “Oh God, what if I had forgotten _that_”.
I have become obsessive about journaling as a result, almost as if I fear losing a part of me.
Awesome. Simply awesome. Both the topic and your writing.
[...] Osborne presents Write Yourself Well posted at TheWritersBag.com, saying, “Steve Osborne, author of “Writing Tips for the [...]
Just yesterday I was going through some old journal entries and it struck me how far I had come since those writings (about 10 years ago). I was a whiny mass of confusion and self-doubt back then. Yet, as I continued to read, I found hints that I was changing even then.
My daughter, 17, also uses writing as a way to navigate the world. I’m glad she discovered this outlet and uses it. I think her ability to deal with her emotions this way has helped us to have the strong, positive relationship we do.
Writing is very powerful. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t have banned books and other attempts to restrict or censor the written word.
Great post!
Thanks for this wonderful site. Writing can be healing. My husband died in 2000 and to deal with the loss I wrote a memoir of our life; difficult, but also rewarding in that it gave me a sense of accomplishment. It also helped me remember all the good times, not just the unhappy moments. This writing led me to write a novel just to see if I could! The first book led to a sequel which will be out soon. I also wrote a third novel since the writing kept me sane, my mind alert, and improved my physical health. I’ve also written poetry, essays, and short stories. I’m also an artist (painter) and writing and painting seem to be joined at the hip, at least in my case. I hope this encourages others.
I’ll be tuning in again for more great content, and although I’m hiking the downside of life’s mountain, I may even take up ballet.
Marie, thank you for your encouraging words.
I write on a daily basis for work (I write applications for grants & subsidies, often boring sometimes for a really good cause), but I write as well to get rid of the “dirt” of that day, the stress, annoying things, the beautiful things etc. I’ve been doing so since the age of 15 or 16.
The only thing that bothers me is that when I read back, all those notes, all those pages, pens, inks, all those hours seems so useless. The writing seems to go on and on about petty unimportant things.
I can’t stop writing, my fingers start to ache, there is an nervous unrest in them, so I write several notes during the day, I need to.
Are there others that read back their journals (if you ever do so) and feel a bit disgusted by there petty things being described there some years ago?