Dec 01 2008
Word Shot – 1 December, 2008
In the spirit of the holiday season, I invite you to take a shot at this week’s Word Shot. Here it is:
Thanks to those of you who took part in in last week’s Word Shot. Hundreds – probably thousands – of people read what you wrote. I personally enjoyed the reading. If you haven’t yet read the submissions, click here.
This week, check back occasionally to see what others have written.
Once again, here’s my challenge to you: If you participate in 10 Word Shots, I’ll e-mail you all three of my e-manuals free. Once you’ve submitted to a total of 10, let me know via e-mail and I’ll send you the manuals in PDF format.
I want to see what you can do with this one. Loosen up a bit, then focus in and give it a shot. It’s a great way to develop yourself as a writer.
ARGH!!!! It was so much easier when there were chimneys on every roof!
Just a little more, stretch a little farther……….little more…………….uh oh, I think someone sees me…………….AHOY MATE! Merry Christmas to you too!
“There’s a special place in hell for me, you know,” Adam grunted into the cell phone, tucked under his chin.
“You wanna see hell?” she snapped.
“How do you even know this is the right place?”
“I followed her home.”
“Jesus! I think this obsession has gone far enough, no?”
“Says the man on the drainpipe.”
“Can’t we try e-bay?”
“And pay six hundred dollars?!”
“All right, all right.”
“Your foot’s not on the rail.”
“Do you wanna do this?!”
“Shh. What if someone hears you?”
“Hears me? I’m in a Santa suit in daylight! Someone hearing me isn’t the threat!”
“You put it on. Why did you, anyway?”
“Seemed like a good idea, but now it just feels stupid”
“I know what you mean.”
“That’s it. I’m coming down.”
“Okay. Fine. You explain to her on Christmas -”
“Stop it. I’ll do it, I’ll do it.”
As Murray stretched to reach the railing, he muttered to himself.
“Could’ve bought this stupid Wii in October, but nooo.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing, dear.”
The big man was seriously considering marking anybody who lived in a high-rise as naughty, just to save himself the trouble of entry.
Having comsumed five beers, with chasers, before his shift at Macy’s, and unable to locate the employee’s restroom, Chuck makes a poor decision to utilize the Port-O-John at a neighboring construction site five stories down.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. No bail out for reindeer.
Yes, Mr. Paulson, there is a Santa in the pipeline.
“Hurry up and get in here you idiot. No you can’t use the door someone might see you. You want me to get a bad reputation?”
“And you think no one will notice a skinny guy in a red suit climbing through your window Bernice? Give me a break. We are five stories up. The last time I checked Santa was pretty fat and came down the chimney. Hey is that a siren I hear? Bernice, honey, please open the window.”
Just as soon as that woman marries me, I’m spillin’ the beans..and that includes the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
Christmas Santa is Coming
Is it too late to be good now?
Just how much pouting will he allow?
Will Santa be here all that soon?
Can I be nice starting at noon?
Santa is coming this I know.
Even in rain even in snow.
He’s knows who has been bad or good.
And when you’ve done what you should.
He’s coming soon but I don’t know.
Surely it would be an awful blow.
If I were to start being good.
Just to find I’d misunderstood.
That Santa had already written me off.
However loud you sneer and scoff.
And even as I try and strain.
I’d find that I was good in vain.
TimC
The classic photo of Santa on Wall Street.
Santa Fashion
Suit Made in China
Boots Made in Italy
Hat by Houdini
Santa was heard to mutter, “Next time, they can hire UPS.”
Santa’s motto
You can’t give everyone a sugar plum, but you can die trying.
It is 6th of December today. My little granddaughter Net
reminds me about Santa and his gifts. My reply: “Still
19 days to go dear!” She exhibits her GK: “It is his Feast Day
today. Why didn’t he come last night? See, my stocking
is empty!” I give her a silly reply: “Darling, his sleigh was
punctured!” But my wife Mad and Net scold me with
scornful look. I am slipping in my room. After a while
Mad enters showing a decision on her face. But first
she reminds me about my last year’s descent. Here I
obey her:-
(an action replay)
Every now and then my Net always asks about the
existence of Santa Claus. We used to convince her
on every Christmas by filling her stocking with her
favourite gifts. But last year she obstinately asked
us to show Santa in real with video proof! Next day
my Mad suggested me a horrible plan. She started
with these soft words: “Kris, you share your name
with Kris Kringle. Then why don’t you……….?” She
convinced me on the name of Net.
I purchased the trade mark dress of Santa hurriedly.
I dressed up in get up of Santa. Dress was little loose
for me. I had also gifts in my bag. At last Christmas Eve
came. I was ready for my action. My Mad was ready with
her cam on the ground. She ordered: “Action!” I started
to slip down holding the pipe. I successfully crossed the
7th floor and landed safely on the window pane of my 6th
floor. (Here I don’t want to remember my shameful act
so let me jump into my Net’s room. Above you can see
My action in the photo.) I peeped into the room through
a crack. Net was waiting her Santa with open eyes. As
I opened the shutter to enter Net covered her face
except eyes with rug. I jumped into the room but slipped
a little. I yelled with pain showing pose of Indian classical
dancer. But I forgot my pain when I heard a slow laughter
under the rug. I put the bunch of gifts and DVDs of fairy
tales in her BIG stocking. I turned to window for my return
expedition!
(an action replay over)
At this moment my Mad insisting me for same adventure.
But this time Net wants an interview with Santa Claus. I banner
a big No. But Mad is waving that last year’s photo in which
my trousers slipped down when I was slipping down. She
threatens me that she can show the photo to Net and on the
NET as well!!!
My mad Mad made me mad!!
“It’s Christmas Day….just one more delivery! If I could just reach that darn rail. *Sigh* I knew I shouldn’t have let those reindeer drink so much eggnog before the ‘Big Day’. Uh oh, now how am I supposed to get home?”
love you u dad…”Rajen” is my dad….m 22yr but always desprate for my stockings to be full with lots of CHOCOLATES….nd every time i got it..!!!!!! but this time i caught you dad….ur d person who did all d advanture for me to being a sainta….!!!! but why r u struggling dis time???? by climing a pipe???? dis time your daughter will give you a gift (but 2 days late…on 27th of december..when i see my real sainta…!!!!)
After last year when Santa killed all his reindeer in a drunken rampage, delivering presents became a lot more difficult. To make things worse, he forgot the presents that Christmas.
“This all wouldn’t have happened if Mrs. Claus didn’t divorce me!!” Santa yelled.
It was tradition. that’s why. A tradition his father had begun, and a tradition he felt obligated to continue. He wasn’t even sure his own father would have cared. But if it weren’t for that one Christmas Eve night as a child of 8–he never would have known the tradition existed at all.
It wasn’t uncommon for him to hear rustling around at night. And it wasn’t uncommon for him to peek around the corner, long after he was suppose to have been in bed. Father and Mother stayed up late watching The Tonight Show most every night, and they often could be seen laughing and cuddling–even wrestling together on the couch. But this was Christmas Eve. As I inched my way ever so quietly down the steps and around the corner, I caught my first glimpse–not of My Parents, but of My Mother and Santa Clause. THEY were laughing and cuddling and wrestling. And there were gifts everywhere.
It wasn’t until a few years later, that I found the suit. The Red fur-lined suit, and the beard and the black patent leather belt. There had been rumblings around the school yard of Santa not being Real–Of Santa actually being our parents–but I hadn’t believed them. When Bullies tell stories, you just don’t believe them. They’ve ruined their reputation with you, just by being bullies. Why would you believe anything they say?
So now, I find myself in this stinky old, moth-eaten suit. When Father dies, I couldn’t help but hold it to my chest. And even though it wasn’t in good condition, I decided to save it, not realizing then, that I’d actually be wearing it now.
So here, I am, itching like a banshee, and clinging for dear life to the gutter spout on my second floor balcony. You see, the apple never falls far from the tree, and this apple had rolled all the way through the door and straight into the living room, leaving Santa just barely a moment, to release his Mommy and climb out the window.
If this apple stays as close to the tree as I did to mine, then I better invest in a new red suit.