TheWritersBag.com

The question came early in my career, and it came from another writer. “Steve,” he said, “Do you love writing? Or do you just love being a writer?”

I had never thought about it like that. But there it was – a reality check question I couldn’t avoid.

I’d wanted to be a writer ever since I could remember. So yes, I loved the fact that I was a professional, full-time writer. I was proud of it. For me – a romantic at heart – it was the most romantic thing I could do.

But did I love writing itself? After a few seconds of reflection, I realized that was another “Yes.” I loved it when ideas and words came to me. I loved it when suddenly, at the keyboard, I broke into laughter at something that spilled out of me. I loved those occasions when the words that splashed onto the computer screen brought tears to my eyes. I loved it when it seemed that something else – something beneath or beyond my own consciousness – took over. I loved being completely surprised by what came out. And I loved it when other people read those things and were affected by them.

When I was a junior in high school, I wrote some freelance humor columns and feature articles for The Salt Lake Tribune. I remember walking around our neighborhood when I came to difficult parts as I wrote my articles and feeling the thrill of having the right ideas, words and phrases come to me.

I remember waking up each morning one of my articles was published, running out to get the newspaper, and realizing that tens of thousands of people (maybe more) would read my article that day and see my photo next to it. I was not an exhibitionist. In fact, I was the guy who liked to sit back and observe rather than be noticed. But knowing that people all over the region – people I knew and didn’t know – were reading my writing that day gave me an incredible rush. It was my own quiet form of exhibitionism, and I absolutely loved it. I also loved going to school that day and having other students tell me they saw, read and liked the article. What a high!

So yes, I loved writing and I loved being a writer. I still do.

What about you? Do you write because you love writing in and of itself, or because you love the idea of being a writer? This is an important question, because if you don’t intrinsically love the act and process of writing just for itself, you will never have the passion to continue writing. Writing can be more difficult than breaking rocks, and you have to love doing it or you won’t last. The love of being it won’t keep you going for very long.

Something similar happens with physical workouts. I have been working out at gyms regularly since I was 19 years old. I like being fit, but I love the physical and mental feelings I get from a good workout. I have seen countless people come into the gym and have a good go at it for a period of time, then quit. I have seen others make workouts an ongoing part of their lives. The difference? The people who quit love being fit, but don’t like to work out. Those who make workouts a lifelong habit love being fit, too. But more than that, they actually love working out – they become addicted to the feelings they get while they’re doing it.

Same with writing. You’ve got to love it while you’re doing it or you won’t stay with it. I’m not saying the process of writing has to always be enjoyable. Don’t confuse “enjoyment” with “love.” You can love people and still want to scream at them. You can love them and still be hurt by them. But you love them still. That’s what love is.

So ask yourself whether you love writing or merely love the idea of being a writer. And be honest with your answer. If you don’t love the act and process of writing, give it up and find something you can love. Life is too short for self-deception.

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