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Only one of the following sentences is correct. Which?

1. I decided not to go to the inauguration; it would be incredibly crowded; with the rest of the committee.
2. I decided not to go to the inauguration (It would be incredibly crowded.) with the rest of the committee.
3. I decided not to go to the inauguration – it would be incredibly crowded – with the rest of the committee.
4. I decided not to go to the inauguration (it would be incredibly crowded) with the rest of the committee.
5. I decided not to go to the inauguration, it would be incredibly crowded; with the rest of the committee.
6. I decided not to go to the inauguration, it would be incredibly crowded, with the rest of the committee.

If you chose sentence #2, you were … close. Sentence #2 is not correct. But it comes closer to being correct than the other four incorrect sentences. Sentence #1 is flawed as well. So are sentences #3 and #5. Sentence #6 is wrong, too. (What I’m doing here is giving you the run-around, because if, after listing the six sentences, I were to come right out and say sentence #4 is the correct choice, that would take all the fun out of it. But there you have it. Sentence #4 is the winner.)

But why?

The reason is simple: The others are incorrect. Sentences #1, #5 and #6 make a valiant effort to push commas and semicolons to do what they cannot. Sentence number three – the one with the dashes – comes closer to acceptability, but not nearly close enough. Using dashes to embed a complete sentence within another sentence is tricky (if not dangerous) business, and should never be attempted at home.

Sentences #2 and #4 are essentially the same, except that the embedded sentence in #2 goes obnoxiously far in trying to make itself look like a sentence. My grandmother used to say that if a complete sentence is cowardly enough to try to hide inside another sentence, it doesn’t deserve to take its beginning capitalization and ending punctuation with it. In short, it should be stripped of its sentence-ness.

That’s why sentence #2 is not correct. Its embedded sentence has ostentatiously clung to its first capital letter and ending period. Yes, it made the right choice in pulling parentheses around it – rather than commas, semicolons and dashes – but that doesn’t excuse it from the other infractions.

So the next time you’re sitting around embedding complete sentences inside other sentences (some enthusiasts do this every Friday night) remember the rule: Don’t capitalize the embedded sentence, and don’t use the ending punctuation. If you follow these rules, you will live a long and happy life.

Whether you are called to write in the line of work or want to make writing your career, you should know the basic rules of English usage. These rules are the foundation – the bedrock – of writing. People who want to write (or need to write to get ahead) and who don’t know the rules of writing are like fine artists who don’t know how to use a brush.

Would-be writers occasionally come to me and tell me how desperately they want to be writers. But when samples of their work show they don’t have even a basic grasp of the rules of writing, I have to question how desperately they want it. 

I’m not saying you have to be a dusty grammarian to be a good writer, but you need a good, basic understanding of the way the rules work.

How do you rate in this area? Take the following quiz and see. Something is wrong with each of the following 10 sentences. Print this out and edit each sentence. Then (don’t cheat) check out the explanations that follow.

10 Flawed Sentences

1. I get depressed when its raining and cold.
2. I was so nice to his mother, I think he could of given me a discount. 
3. I’m so tired I just want to set down.
4. Peggy is one of the employees which works in the Pittsburgh office.
5. Before we bought a car, I use to walk back and forth to the grocery store.
6. As CEO, she has a huge affect on the year’s net profits.
7. All I could do was hold her and tell her everything would be alright.
8. Between the three new receptionists, who is the best with the public?
9. He was around seven feet tall, which is big even for an NBA star.
10. Thanks to the new rules, we had less accidents this year than ever.

And the Answers, Please ….

1. I get depressed when it’s raining and cold. (When the meaning is “it is,” always use the contraction form of “it’s.”)
2. I was so nice to his mother, I think he could have given me a discount. (“Could of” is more than just informal. It’s wrong. Use “could have,” “would have,” “should have” and so on.)
3. I’m so tired I just want to sit down. (You set a book down on the desk, but you sit down on a chair.)
4. Peggy is one of the employees who works in the Pittsburgh office. (When you’re referring to a person, it’s “who.” “Which” is used with things. For example: The Prius is one of the new cars which uses hybrid technology.)
5. Before we bought a car, I used to walk back and forth to the grocery store. (It’s the past “used to” – not the present “use to.” They sound virtually the same, which is why so many people get this wrong.)
6. As CEO, she had a huge effect on the year’s net profits. (In order to use “affect” correctly, it has to mean “to influence or change” and must be a verb. In this sentence, it’s a noun.)
7. All I could do was hold her and tell her everything would be all right. (“Alright” is not a word. You wouldn’t write “alwrong” would you? A few dictionaries have admitted “alright” to their list of acceptable words, but in most circles it is still not correct.)
8. Among the three new receptionists, who is the best with the public? (Why is it correct to write “among” and incorrect to write “between” in this context? As your parents used to say: Just because that’s the way it is!)
9. He was about seven feet tall, which is big even for an NBA star. (For an explanation about why “around” is wrong and “about” is correct in this sentence, refer to sentence #8.)
10. Thanks to the new rules, we had fewer accidents this year than ever. (We’ve talked about this before. If it’s a plural noun – things you can count – use “fewer” – not “less.” Use “less” when the noun is singular. For example: “We had less trouble this year.”)

How Did You Do?

If you correctly edited at least seven of the 10 sentences, you’re doing pretty well. If you missed half of them, you have some work to do. If you got all of them right, or even nine of the 10, pat yourself on the back.

Being a good writer in terms of complying with the rules is not a question of being smart – it’s just a matter of learning them. Yes, it’s boring stuff. Yes, it’s complicated and often illogical. But (again as your parents used to say), that’s the way it is!

I hope you took the opportunity to read last week’s Word Shot submissions. One featured a well-crafted surprise that was nothing less than startling. Well done!

Here’s this week’s Word Shot:

This appears to be be a photo of a grandfather showing some sort of family album or scrapbook to his two granddaughters.

Boring.

But it doesn’t have to be. A good writer should be able to look at this photo and imagine all sorts of weird and unusual angles to change the boredom to suspense, fascination, horror, laughter or insight. Maybe he’s not a typical grandfather. Maybe he’s not their grandfather at all. And perhaps it’s not a family album he’s showing them.

So, my challenge to you is to use your imagination to make this photo interesting and then write about it and submit what you write in a comment below. Just as your muscles need exercise, so does your imagination. This will give it a good workout, and will sharpen your writing skills in the process. Go on – give it a shot!

Yes, I’m still offering a bribe to persuade you to participate: Participate in 10 Word Shots and I’ll e-mail you all three of my writing skills e-books.

Let’s see what you can do with this one! Don’t be shy.